Why should you never trust stairs?

They’re always up to something.

My housemate is a huge Richmond Tigers fan. Now the Richmond Football Club in Melbourne hadn't been in the grand final since 1982 (way before she was born) so this was a big deal for her.

Unfortunately, she hadn't expected them to make it to the grand finals (after all, they never had made it in her life so far) so when she was planning her wedding she had picked that same spring afternoon.

Devastated as she realized she couldn't possibly do both, she resigned herself to making the difficult choice, the only choice, and posted on Facebook "If anyone would like to take my place this Saturday, 2 pm at St Mark's Chapel, let me know."

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500 dollars."